MISTRESS DISPELLER
(The 2024 Toronto International Film Festival runs September 5-15 and HtN has you covered once again. Check out M.J. O’Toole’s Mistress Dispeller movie review. Seen it? Join the conversation with HtN on our Letterboxd Page.)
Elizabeth Lo, the Hong Kong-born filmmaker behind the 2020 documentary Stray, shifts her attention from the streets of Istanbul to a very unique industry in modern China – where the rate of marital infidelity is as high as in numerous developed countries. In Mistress Dispeller, Lo observes a love triangle from all perspectives and the sly, yet empathetic entrepreneur who tries to help them get their affairs in order. The titular dispeller is a woman hired to break up extramarital affairs by going undercover and befriending wife, husband, and then mistress. From there, she pulls a vast bag of tricks to end the affair as amicably as possible. For such a revealing documentary that gets up close and personal to the vulnerability and complexities of its subjects, trust is a big factor for this kind of access – especially as each individual consented to being filmed beforehand. The trust that these subjects have with Lo beautifully culminates into a compassionate look at the difficulties and strength of love.
Pretty early on, our mistress dispeller Wang Zhengxi (often referred to as “Teacher Wang”) is hired by the elegant, middle-aged Mrs. Li – at the behest of her brother – who discovered her longtime husband’s affair with a younger woman after finding compromising texts on his phone and noticing his tendency to come home late. The wife refuses to have her family and upper-middle-class existence ruined by another woman’s interference. Though some people may believe Mrs. Li should take a more “merciless” route in this situation, you can’t help but admire her resolve and effort to save her marriage, especially through these means.
To break up Mr. Li’s affair, Wang first goes undercover as Mrs. Li’s friend to get closer to her husband, get to know him, and relay his wife’s suspicions. But instead of lecturing or admonishing Mr. Li for his indiscretion, the nonjudgemental Wang tries to get him to reflect on why he’s pulling away from his marriage, and the reason he and his wife got together in the first place. Even though he genuinely loves his wife, the sense of excitement and fulfillment Mr. Li gets from his mistress shows what he’s been missing from his marriage. The way Lo captures these sensitive moments and the narrative-like flow may make you sometimes wonder if you’re watching a documentary or a romantic drama. The prolific filmmaker Hong Sangsoo is a clear inspiration.
The film soon shifts from the married couple to the perspective of Mr. Li’s younger mistress Fei Fei. Wang convinces Mr. Li to introduce the two under the guise of them as cousins to try to gain her confidence and understand her side of the story, giving her enough insight to advise him on how to end the affair gently enough not to cause damage to anyone. After all, at least one heart may be broken in the aftermath. As easy as it may be to condemn someone who puts herself in such a compromising position, Fei Fei does seem to have genuine deep feelings for Mr. Li, as opposed to something more transactional. Though as Wang tells Mrs. Li at one point, “In her bones, she is miserable.” As content as Fei Fei may be with her constant melancholy, she has a deep longing for love and commitment, a universal feeling. What other reason would there be for her to get involved in an unsatisfying extramarital affair? When the two women finally meet face-to-face, there is obvious tension in the air. But there is also surprisingly somewhat of a deep understanding between the two. “We all encounter temptation,” Mrs. Li tells the much younger woman – an older, wiser generation providing a sort of guidance to someone as young as she was once.
Lo and her team met with dozens of mistress dispellers, even coming across ads for hundreds of dispelling companies, before finally discovering Wang. The result of this choice pays off as Wang’s careful, patient, and sympathetic approach to her work helps shape the trajectory of this doc. There is a Rashomon-like approach the director uses here – defying certain judgments on subjects and events by exploring how everyone sees the situation from their own eyes. Her fly-on-the-wall approach gives everyone involved the space to express themselves in the moment, not interfering for dramatic effect. Even the fourth wall is broken at one point when Wang stresses to the production team the sensitivity of what they are about to film. Lo beautifully captures the many facets of love and loneliness through her empathetic lens. We are left to ponder our preconceptions regarding fidelity and devotion. It is a rare, unbiased look at modern love in another society that’s a must-see for any couple or romantic.
– M.J. O’Toole (@mj_otoole93)
2024 Toronto Film Festival; Mistress Dispeller; Elizabeth Lo
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